A STANDING OVATION

Thanks to those who never stood by my side,
Your cowardice taught me to be alone and taught me how to fight.
Thank you to the ones who were never ever there,
You taught me to accept all that is meaningless and unfair


Thank you to the ones who have found a way to stab,
Everytime you hit , a new weapon I could grab
Thank you to the ones who lied and cheated deep,
You taught me how to make promises and learn how to keep



Thank you to the ones who judged without evidence , witness , case,
It helped me be stronger and build a much better base.
Thnak you to the ones who caused immense pain ,
For I learnt that after great loss comes great gain


Thank you to the ones who made false pretence
You single handedly improved my self-defense.
Thank you to the ones who blocked roads and drank my confidence dregs,
For I realised that to move forwrad you need to fly and not use your legs.
Thank you to the ones who called themselves friends and were only foes,
Guess what bad times only test how much your soul really grows!

Above all , THANK YOU to the ones who broke my heart,
Unlike what you expected, I wasn't ripped apart.
For every tear I shed , I learn't a million lessons more.
How to distrust and laugh and be happier than before.

Thank You !

UNCERTAINTY

I know what its like to be torn apart ,
I know what its like to have both a brain and a heart

I know what its like to be a grain in the wind
I know what its like to be saint and a fiend

I know what its like to be on two boats
I know what its like to be sail and be afloat

what I dont know is how to be unsure
to not know if you are the sea or the shore ?

how can you doubt if you have a soul ?
how can you doubt what is your goal ?

WE ARE ALL BUTTERFLIES...Hang on !

I love butterflies..always have.

Their delicate wings , vibrant colours , sensitive flight ...lights up my day.

Many a times have I just rushed from one meeting to another and while I cross the buildings , a glossy yellow butterfly just winked past.

Its tiny flutter creates a flutter in my heart , too. Suddenly the day looks better . I find an unkown hope and look forward to the next moment.

Perhaps , something incredibly nice may happen to me ! Who knows !

Does this make me incredibly girly ? Maybe yes .

But this agent of pollination that plays such a terrific role in nature by allowing plants to reproduce , has really won my heart over.

I find that these tiny butterflies are nature's message to us , a symbol that the ugliest slimy , creepy , crawly thing can also transform into one of the world's most beautiful creatures.So if anything is possible, why give up ?

Looking at a dark , ugly , slob like caterpillar , can you imagine the gorgeous and vibrant colors that it can transform into ? The beauty it has which hasn't yet burst forth ? No.

So its nature's way of telling us not to be judgemental. Things turn around and boy ! When they do , they make heads turn !

Also , there is a hidden symbol of strength in every butterfly. No matter how delicate it looks , dont be taken by its fragile looks ! It can make the tallest plants reproduce..it can pollinate the biggest and the smallest flower. It is playing a very important role in Evolution. Though it looks like just any other tiny delicate creature which ( you think ) exists only to decorate this world.

My Mother says that there is another hidden message here , that of social behaviour.

She says that when a creature becomes admirable , even the people who would earlier spit on them and smash them and couldn't care less about their life or death, will spend hours appreciating that very same creature.

It is possible to obtain anyone's appreciation . Anyone. But the transformation is always always always painstaking and time-consuming.

You have to wait for the right time !

You see ,No matter how much the poor caterpillar rushes , its time to become a pupa comes in its own due wake. and when it does , it is so very painful.

Every atom metamorphosises into something new. It must be terrible..but the results are for the world to see..after a few days , the beautiful Goddess of Beauty bursts forth in all its glory . Everyone stares in awe..so pretty ! so very beautiful !

So , dont give up in your caterpillar days.Or the PUPA stage. It is painful but one day , the phoenix will arise.

Thats the norm of Nature.

Just hang on.

Goodbye Wonderland

Right now I dont like myself.

Right now, no more fairies and elf .

Stories of fantasy seem stupid and old,

No one can ever change sand to gold ,

Don't believe that there is a pot of gold ,

The end of the rainbow is probably sold.

Many tales made and many a told,

I learnt all myths while I grew old .

Whoever saw Snow-White awake

And Alice ? for God's sake !

Whoever saw Peter-Pan fly,

And Tinkle-Bell ? useless hue and cry.

Believed in all things nice --

Hunky dory and no more spice .

What a fool I was to think

The world could change in a wink.

Fairy tales have grim endings

Paved roads have unexpected bendings.

I think its time to stop smiling ,

Face reality as the truth keeps piling.

Feel lost in this new found vision

Who knows wat to believe and what is an illusion :)

Dont want to live in this land of no kindness

Don need no gold castles..no need to hear YOUR Highness !

I'd much rather live in a make-believe island

Where hearts flutter and truth is silent .

Who cares about reality when it is so sad ?

Who cares about the truth when illusion makes you glad.

Alas ! its time to line up and go

Deserted road and long row.

Good - bye my friends bunny and duchess...

YOU didnt exist but better than truth's clutches :-)

Remember I lived here in Wonderland

Remember that I also had my magic wand

Goodbye for now but don't be mistaken ever

I will be back someday , will forget you never .

Will bring my kids to see this land..

Where Life never deals a rough hand.

My children will also be a part of this story,

All has not ended and neither has your glory.

Goodbye Sweet Little Wonderland,

Remember that Once I too had a magic wand !!!

Back Home

Landing fresh from a long USA stay , I was all smug and gung-ho about the "value of life" and how " we Indians " never give it the due importance , about the pollution-free streets that "we never had" , about the freedom to wear "what we want ( read : sheer micro-minis) " and not being ogled at and I rambled on and on and on.

So you can imagine my displeasure on being suggested -- probably to shut me up -- by my Mother , that I visit the local winter-"fair" !!

My immense snout and immediate refusal did not deter her ..So I had to give in , Oh what the hell ! If an hour or so pleases her then why not just endure it out rather than the constant nagging ?

So on we went to the local fair grounds and a whiff of hot jalebis hit me immediately upon my entrance.Of course ! I did want to speak out immediately about the violation of food and hygiene regulations but something shut me up. It was the golgappa stall right next to the jalebis and without spending a single moment on thoughts , I rushed to get my fill.

My mother asked what happened to the hygienic-conditions and "requirement of mineral-water" that I sooo talk about but I chose to ignore her.

And then came the all important affair of checking out the wares and stuff on sale there. No matter how much I cringed my nose , I couldnt resist staring longingly at the multicolored scarves , the gleaming pots and pans , the saffron colored cloth-pieces , the "2-Rs a piece" ear-rings , the beady bindis , the fake-gold maang-tikkis , the honey glazed sweets , the salted peanuts , the freshly brewed lassi , the steaming tea cups , the embroidered bed-sheets ,

the vivacious ballons to be hit by a hunting gun ( 5 Rs for 7 trials ) where you get to keep the elusive stuffed toy only if you hit three balloons right ( no-one in the history of this universe ever got them ) , the fruit salad with its own indian touch , the spicy chutney , the bottled jars full of lemon pickle , the pretty ceramic horses and delicate wooden fairies , the fake flowers and fruit baskets that you can keep in your glass-cupboards for decor( "6 Rs no matter what you pick MAADAMM...Allright then at least take two and get two Rooopeeesss discountt MAAdammmm" )...What a heady cocktail for the senses , the brain and yes , indeed the soul .

All of these stuck a chord in my heart , there was something so warm and modest in these surroundings , so honest that you felt like laughing when they said , "let me reduce one rupee for you madam , you are iss-speciaall customer" .

It made me feel warm and happy inside. :)

Though I returned dusty and my hands were tired of carrying two full bags ( that I did not know or care to know were made of re-cyclable plastic or not , not anymore) , I returned Indian . A happy Indian . A very happy Indian with a wide conspicuous shameless Indian grin .

Satisfied to the core that I was born to this terrific nation where there were sometimes potholes instead of smooth highways but when you fell down; a one-thousand-hands helped to pick you up as well as every item of your shopping bag allthough its a different story that when you reached home , your cell phone would probably have gone missing. But then again , there's consolation because the localites would promise to do whatever was in their power to "trace him ..the rogue thief " allthough ideally it should have been the cop's job. Hehe

I am indeed back home.